What is your gym persona?

deadpoolbeer
The All American
This is the guy who appears to have it all; Generally a good looking metro-sexual pretty boy type. You can tell that he pays close attention to the outfits he puts together solely to come to the gym. They are generally former college athlete of sorts. (picture football baseball and wrestler types) who graduated with a need to conquer other brag-able endeavors. Technically skilled (A) type personality driven to be the best, with the slightest hint of vanity. He rocks the nicer gear whatever it maybe be, the latest pair of Tap out fight shorts, they hayabusa gloves or the immaculate white gi with patches sewn perfectly causing his Gi to resemble that of a NASCAR. The All American is generally a nice guy and competes like a beast. Guys will make fun of his meticulously well put together training outfits causing him to smash them in practices. Gay men and women love him, for his sense of style good personality, and ruggedly handsome appearance. Then there are the haters who cant stand him, generally a small case of envy for the good looks, attention, or inherent confidence that a person like this radiates.
The Professionals
These are those the successful and educated people. Almost the overly successful types that makes you question why they would participate in rough rowdy sports like submission, wrestling, boxing, or mma. “I would be out spending money if I were you.” is generally what I was thinkin as I talk these people.  They are the doctors, the lawyers, engineers, and architects. The value of education and responsibility to follow through allow them to progress quickly through the ranks that they chose. You know the professions that make the type of money that if you and I made we  wouldn’t leave the house. However the responsibilities, and pressures of the career path leaves a void that can only be filled by physical conflict. This is where you tend to find the guys that have all the technical skills, responsibility in training,  and physical attributes to be a at the apex of their chosen hobby. Whether its the top weekend warriors of local tourneys or Even the national tourneys, I have always admired the responsibility of these guys in regular life and commitment to their craft. However with the good comes the bad. Another loosely common theme with these type of folks are that they usually hate their job/careers, and would rather be training full time. Which just serves as further evidence that money cant buy real happiness.
The Scientist
Science and Mathematics. Both areas of these academic choruses focus solely on “HOW” you get to end result. A process which is rarely if ever diverted from. The guy who is  more worried about the counter before you have fully understood the attack the should be drilling. With the application of a formula to solve problems these guys i find to be the type of guys that have very set patterns in there grappling, boxing, or mma training. The formula would read something like, Takedown A, to get to position B, to isolate opponents X,  with counters D and E ready to go. I know those who have ever trained at more than one gym,  know exactly what I’m talking about. Trying to convey information in the simplest terms pains the scientist. Instructor says “Put this here because that where it is best and safest place for this situation…. The Scientist, ” Well what if he does this, I saw the counter in my 10th Planet book.” Instructor, “That’s not what we are drilling.” Scientist,”But if i where to counter you with this? What you do to re counter?” This is where i usually glaze over in agreement and let smart guy learn half of each technique then smash on him with what we were drilling in the first place.
Yes you can be very smart and still be dumb at the same time. No question is a dumb question but instead of waiting for your turn to talk, just drill the fucking move. ; )
The Artist
The artist, is the guy usually chilling on the mat and stretching for hours to grapple his ten min session.(Yup better limber up) He could be a previous practitioner of some discipline like Jeet Kun Do black belt or Tae Kwon Do, some of the sorts. Deeply involved  in the other physically challenging as well as the spiritual aspects of the art. (this tends to couple nicely with yuppie stoner types) Things like yoga, meditation, and inner meaning that the art absorbs this guy. This tends to lend itself to hippies, tree huggers, and humanitarians of the realm of combat sports, This guy wont be able to explain how he does what he does, but rather just feels what’s happening and simply applies. Sometimes the persecuted poet full of angst, looking to lash out in a controlled environment. This is a rather eccentric type of personality. Straddling the boarder line of crazy also mimicking shades of genius. His method of problem solving used by the Artist is the polar opposite of the Scientist often leaving you asking yourself “why didn’t I think of that?” Where the scientist is concerned “the formula” and rules associated to get you the end result; The artists objective to “flow” till the end result presents itself to him. He doesn’t really know how he got there to the end result. He just knows he got there.
He is the guy that if you ask him to break down how he did a technique, he would look at blankly and kind of stumble his way through an explanation when you know, he didn’t really think that in depth about it at the time.” How he got to this technique he couldn’t explain how he did it to save his life. But, if you were to watch him you would swear to god he had been practicing these moves for years. Generally the guys who can be gone for extended amounts of time and re appear seamlessly pulling off advanced techniques without missing a beat.
The Ironman
Every gym loves but hates this guy. The guys whos cardio closely resembles that of a fine tuned performance motor for the 24 hour GP races. Grappling sessions with him will be kept at redline levels for either one 5 min round, or a single 2 hour round. His genetics you would swear, God himself created on a Monday when he had an idea he wanted to try out after watching the Terminator. Unlike you, who God saw it fit to throw together some random leftover pieces late on a Saturday night. Competing against this guy makes you question yourself and how you are so fat, disgusting, and out of shape. Matches usually end with a forfeit of pride and yielding to the cowardness that only fatigue can bring on. The guy who unintentionally mocks your ego as you struggled through 3 rounds of conditioning after wrestling. There he is after practice, after conditioning no less doing Gi pull ups. When you hear his complaints of how he got “tired”, this normally causing you to internally freak out at levels that would make postal workers proud had your lungs not burned and muscles not pumped battery acid. So I put my hands in my pocket shrug and say, ” Not my fault God built me 11:50pm on Saturday night.”
The HoodKids
Fist fighting doesn’t impress the ones that have been submerged in lesser neighborhoods, where that is how misunderstandings are handled. These kids usually come off years more mature than the actual years reflect. I have learned,”Its not so much the year; Sometimes its the mileage.” Never a strangers to confrontation, they welcome it. They embrace the opportunity to do something that comes so natural to them. Poor kids, hood kids, socially awkward rejects of sorts lookin for small slice of the world where they are comfortable. These are the kids who cant afford their own gear right off the bat, so the barrow a pair of gloves every time the come to gym, or use the broken down pairs that live at the gym. They have the hand-me-down Gis because its simply all they can afford.
Going against HoodKids in a training scenario situations can easily spiral into a real problem with very real consequences. Consequences like, you leave the gym with black eyes, a bloodied nose, or popped tendons. Whether its pride, wanting to belong, or respect. If you watch him compete, its done as if there is a chip on his shoulder. A burning desire to make it which he wears on the sleeve of his gi. No matter how bleak the situation may appear he is gonna attack it. The trick is hoping that these kids are able to stay focused on training and not becoming distracted with other aspects of neighborhood life. It doesn’t matter if its the neighborhood, the trailer park, or just plane shity parenting has instilled the fearless approach, an iron will, and stomach capable of smiling at the sight of his own blood as easily as the site of yours. Dont disrespect the “kids” the kids wont come at you. If your intrenched in battle with Hoodkids  be prepaired to hurt, cause certainly they are ready.
 The Classclown
With all the seriousness that some invest in training and competing in Bjj, boxing, or MMA the Clowns are the guys that take the edge off. They generally approach their sport with a child like joy. Think back to when you were 110 percent happy to be outside playing on the playground. The only rule you had to worry about, being back home before street lights came on. These are the guys always smiling, even when laboring away through inhumane levels of abuse of training or actual fights. The crack jokes and talk shit though conditioning, no matter how horrible it may be. Its doesnt bother them. Mentally they appear to be somewhere else. A happy place with a petting zoo, ice cream, or where binkini clad women serve them tacos and beer. A place that they have to tell you about as try to keep your from bursting out you gugular. Truely just happy to be doing what they love to be doing.
These guys tend to be the heartbeat, and souls of whatever gym they are apart of. Remove that person from their gym and the whole personality and dynamic of the gym as a whole changes. Though they be loud and boardline obnixious sometimes. He pays closer attention than you would think. He is somewhere between the Scientist and the Artist. He is smart enough to aply a formula and if its not working capable of creating his oppertunities. All while loving every single min of smashing you while cracking jokes. The Clowns can sometimes be mistaken for being disrespectful due to his sense of humor. Dont be so serious all time. Remember you signed up  and pay to do this because its fun. Dont be mad at the kid whos having more fun than you on the same play ground.
XMEN
These guys come in all shapes forms and sizes. Wheather its sharp intelect, gorilla like strength and blue skin of Beast, or the jovial personality and tellaporting ability of NightCrawler, just like mutants in Xmen these players have gifts. For some its abnoral strength, Aquaman like lung capasity making chokes useless, Playdough like flexibility, Duel hinged knee joints or some other dark gift God handed out that i happened to miss out on. As you train with these guys, you keep a seperate playbook just for them, because the average everyday stuff cant work when he summons his dark gift. Tread lightley, expect the unexpected and approach with an open mind. With every superpower there is an achillies heel. Its up to you to find it maybe even find a mutant power of your own…

that of a NASCAR. The All American is generally a nice guy and competes like a beast. Guys will make fun of his meticulous well put together outfits causing him to smash them in practices. Gay men and women love him, for his sense of style good personality, and ruggedly handsome appearance. Then there are the haters who cant stand him, generally a small case of envy for the good looks, attention, or inherent confidence that a person like this radiates.

The Professionals
These are those the successful and educated people. Almost the overly successful types that makes you question why they would participate in rough rowdy sports like submission, wrestling, boxing, or mma. “I would be out spending money if I were you.” is generally what I was thinkin as I talk these people.  They are the doctors, the lawyers, engineers, and architects. The value of education and responsibility to follow through allow them to progress quickly through the ranks that they chose. You know the professions that make the type of money that if you and I made  we wouldn’t leave the house. However the responsibilities, and pressures of the career path leaves a void that can only be filled by physical conflict. This is where you tend to find the guys that have all the technical skills, responsibility in training,  and physical attributes to be a at the apex of their chosen hobby. Whether its the top weekend warriors of local tourneys or Even the national tourneys, I have always admired the responsibility of these guys in regular life and commitment to their craft. However with the good comes the bad. Another loosely common theme with these type of folks are that they usually hate their job/careers, and would rather be training full time. Which just serves as further evidence that money cant buy real happiness.
The Scientist
Science and Mathematics. Both areas of these academic choruses focus solely on “HOW” you get to end result. A process which is rarely if ever diverted from. The guy who is  more worried about the counter before you have fully understood the attack the should be drilling. With the application of a formula to solve problems these guys i find to be the type of guys that have very set patterns in there grappling, boxing, or mma training. The formula would read something like, Takedown A, to get to position B, to isolate opponents X,  with counters D and E ready to go. I know those who have ever trained at more than one gym,  know exactly what I’m talking about. Trying to convey information in the simplest terms pains the scientist. Instructor says” Put this here because that where it is best and safest place for this situation…. The Scientist, ” Well what if he does this, I saw the counter in my 10th Planet book.” Instructor, “That’s not what we are drilling.” Scientist,” But if I where to counter you with this? What you do to re counter?” This is where i usually glaze over in agreement and let smart guy learn half of each technique then smash on him with what we were drilling in the first place.
Yes you can be very smart and still be dumb at the same time. No question is a dumb question but instead of waiting for your turn to talk, just drill the fucking move. ; )
The Artist
The artist, is the guy usually chilling on the mat and stretching for hours to grapple his ten min session.(Yup better limber up) He could be a previous practitioner of some discipline like Jeet Kun Do black belt or Tae Kwon Do, some of the sorts. Deeply involved  in the other physically challenging as well as the spiritual aspects of the art. (this tends to couple nicely with yippee stoner types) Things like yoga, meditation, and inner meaning that the art absorbs this guy. This tends to lend itself to hippies, tree huggers, and humanitarians of the realm of combat sports, This guy wont be able to explain how he does what he does, but rather just feels what’s happening and simply applies. Sometimes the persecuted poet full of angst, looking to lash out in a controlled environment. This is a rather eccentric type of personality. Straddling the borderline of crazy also mimicking shades of genius. His method of problem solving used by the Artist is the polar opposite of the Scientist often leaving you asking yourself “why didn’t I think of that?” Where the scientist is concerned “the formula” and rules associated to get you the end result; The artists objective to “flow” till the end result presents itself to him. He doesn’t really know how he got there to the end result. He just knows he got there.
He is the guy that if you ask him to break down how he did a technique, he would look at blankly and kind of stumble his way through an explanation when you know, he didn’t really think that in depth about it at the time.” How he got to this technique he couldn’t explain how he did it to save his life. But, if you were to watch him you would swear to god he had been practicing these moves for years. Generally the guys who can be gone for extended amounts of time and re appear seamlessly pulling off advanced techniques without missing a beat.
The Ironman
Every gym loves but hates this guy. The guys whos cardio closely resembles that of a fine tuned performance motor for the 24 hour GP races. Grappling sessions with him will be kept at redline levels for either one 5 min round, or a single 2 hour round. His genetics you would swear, God himself created on a Monday when he had an idea he wanted to try out after watching the Terminator. Unlike you, who God saw it fit to throw together some random leftover pieces late on a Saturday night. Competing against this guy makes you question yourself and how you are so fat, disgusting, and out of shape. Matches usually end with a forfeit of pride and yielding to the cowardness that only fatigue can bring on. The guy who unintentionally mocks your ego as you struggled through 3 rounds of conditioning after wrestling. There he is after practice, after conditioning no less doing Gi pull ups. When you hear his complaints of how he got “tired”, this normally causing you to internally freak out at levels that would make postal workers proud had your lungs not burned and muscles not pumped battery acid. So I put my hands in my pocket shrug and say,” Not my fault God built me 11:50pm on Saturday night.”
The Hood Kids
Fist fighting doesn’t impress the ones that have been submerged in lesser neighborhoods, where that is how misunderstandings are handled. These kids usually come off years more mature than the actual years reflect. I have learned,”Its not so much the year; Sometimes its the mileage.” Never a strangers to confrontation, they welcome it. They embrace the opportunity to do something that comes so natural to them. Poor kids, hood kids, socially awkward rejects of sorts lookin for small slice of the world where they are comfortable. These are the kids who cant afford their own gear right off the bat, so the barrow a pair of gloves every time they come to gym, or use the broken down pairs that live at the gym. They have the hand-me-down Gis because its simply all they can afford.
Going against Hood Kids in a training scenario situations can easily spiral into a real problem with very real consequences. Consequences like, you leave the gym with black eyes, a bloodied nose, or popped tendons. Whether its pride, wanting to belong, or respect. If you watch him compete, its done as if there is a chip on his shoulder. A burning desire to make it which he wears on the sleeve of his gi. No matter how bleak the situation may appear he is gonna attack it. The trick is hoping that these kids are able to stay focused on training and not becoming distracted with other aspects of neighborhood life. It doesn’t matter if its the neighborhood, the trailer park, or just plane shity parenting has instilled the fearless approach, an iron will, and stomach capable of smiling at the sight of his own blood as easily as the site of yours. Don’t disrespect the “kids” the kids wont come at you. If your entrenched in battle with Hood kids  be prepared to hurt, cause certainly they are ready.
 The Class clown
With all the seriousness that some invest in training and competing in Bjj, boxing, or MMA the Clowns are the guys that take the edge off. They generally approach their sport with a child like joy. Think back to when you were 110 percent happy to be outside playing on the playground. The only rule you had to worry about, being back home before street lights came on. These are the guys always smiling, even when laboring away through inhumane levels of abuse of training or actual fights. The crack jokes and talk shit though conditioning, no matter how horrible it may be. Its doesn’t bother them. Mentally they appear to be somewhere else. A happy place with a petting zoo, ice cream, or where bikini clad women serve them tacos and beer. A place that they have to tell you about as try to keep your from bursting out you jugular. Truly just happy to be doing what they love to be doing.
These guys tend to be the heartbeat, and souls of whatever gym they are apart of. Remove that person from their gym and the whole personality and dynamic of the gym as a whole changes. Though they be loud and board line obnoxious sometimes. He pays closer attention than you would think. He is somewhere between the Scientist and the Artist. He is smart enough to apply a formula and if its not working capable of creating his opportunities. All while loving every single min of smashing you while cracking jokes. The Clowns can sometimes be mistaken for being disrespectful due to his sense of humor. Don’t be so serious all time. Remember you signed up  and pay to do this because its fun. Don’t be mad at the kid whos having more fun than you on the same play ground.
XMEN
These guys come in all shapes forms and sizes. Whether its sharp intellect, gorilla like strength and blue skin of Beast, or the jovial personality and teleporting ability of Night Crawler, just like mutants in X-men these players have gifts. For some its abnormal strength, Aqua man like lung capacity making chokes useless, Play dough like flexibility, Duel hinged knee joints or some other dark gift God handed out that i happened to miss out on. As you train with these guys, you keep a separate playbook just for them, because the average everyday stuff cant work when he summons his dark gift. Tread lightly, expect the unexpected and approach with an open mind. With every superpower there is an Achilles heel. Its up to you to find it maybe even find a mutant power of your own…
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